Yes, just like a perfectly good shiftless negro should be, Mantan has been too lazy to post. But just like Jesus of Nazareth, this picture alone has brought me back from the dead into full-fledged vital status.
All one has to do is peruse the laundry list of things that are so very wrong in this pic to know why; no further explanation needed.
And asks if they could stick some candles in you and make a wish, it might be time to rethink your hair and wardrobe choices.
(bonus points for the monumentally colossal sideeye at lower left)
This needs to made illegal like yesterday:
And while we’re at it, can we add dumb-ass, pointless, and completely idiotic tattoos to the list?
I actually winced when I first saw this picture, and had to look at it with my right eye slightly closed. Bravo, Gucci Mane!
(ps: even though this is my blog, i will not be looking at this picture ever again)
Mantan has a Twitter account. Yes, there are some things I can actually hide from Mr. Charlie, like the fact that I can read. Yes suh.
Anyway, I read a top tweet by some robotic lookin’ chick named “Amber Rose” (whose claim to fame I could not seem to find no matter how many times I googled) that said “What happened to romance? I want to be romanced!”
Now, Mantan does not claim to be a relationship expert on the level of say, Steve Harvey, but I do know that maybe it would help if you didn’t go around looking like you are ready to be f*cked five ways till Tuesday at any given moment.
I don’t have that many posts on this blog yet, but for the second time I am opining about some ultra-ridiculous rap beef (which honestly should’ve played out after the deaths of Pac and Biggie).
50 Cent, who has grinded out manufactured beef with everyone from Jay-Z to Lil’ Zane, is now in a flurry with Ja-Rule, a rapper who hasn’t been relevant since non-platform pumps were in style.
Ummm…Ja? Methinks you might have some more pressing issues at hand, like how ya gonna keep that backside safe when you go to JAIL for 2 years next week. Or maybe why all of your teeth come to a point. Either one, just saying.
Lawd knows there has been an abundance of Negro shenanigans on the radar for the three weeks Mantan has been away, but like the good lawd made us darkies, I’ve been lazy.
I’ve been meaning to write about the unbelievably ridiculous debate about whether people with food stamps should be allowed to buy soda.
What. The. F*ck.
It reminds me of when Andronico’s in California stopped taking food stamps, cause some massa in line was livid that someone in front of him was buying steak and prawns ahead of him with the dreaded stamps. So livid, that he made sure food stamp people could no longer shop at his sacred store. Ever.
That should have been illegal all over the place. And so should this ultra-stupid proposal—if someone wants to give themselves diabetes, obesity, and yeast infections with orange, green, and purple dranks, that’s their problem. If this goes any further, Mantan is forming an action group advocating that people who still write checks in line at the grocery store while we wait on their livin’ in the 80’s asses should be assassinated on sight.
Don’t test me, I will make sure it happens.
Why does this person insist on doing this repeatedly?
And why does this person insist on dressing like this repeatedly, hard man-face and all?
Mantan plans on staying away from people that just use initials for names.
Mantan is not one for wigs and weaves and such…just put on a headrag and that’s all Mantan needs to get goin’. Our office manager, Butterfly McQueen, sports them regularly, and I must say she looks lovely.
Halloween is not really my thing either—too much opportunity for the Klan to come a callin’. But I have to comment on the “urban” “costume” wigs that are floating out for the mainstream public, that even I find offensive.
First is “The Home Girl Wig”. Yes, it is really sold by that name. Not only is there nothing “homegirl” (except for the 2 tones-but that’s lightweight) about it, if you wore it in a costume, folks would think you were parading around as Joan Collins in her Alexis Carringtion-Colby-Dexter days on “Dynasty”.
This one I really am at a loss of words for; it was actually sold by the nationwide department store “Kohl’s”, and is called the “Ghettofab” wig. Yes. I’ve seen girls with hair worn just like this (usually the very opposite of ghetto), in everyday usage, so Mantan is not amused.
As I’ve stated, all a black girl needs is a bandana and poof! Instant costume! Why waste time and money on being a ridiculous (and inaccurate) stereotype, when you can be a real one for the hefty price of one whole dollar?